Falling
by THLadyNightshade
Summary: Bonnie prides herself on being rational. Jeremy makes her anything but rational. Written for Secret Santa prompt on the livejournal community ben jerrys.


**Title:** Falling

**Author:** nightshade24

**Pairing:** Bonnie/Jeremy; brief Elena/Stefan (although one-sided); hints of Tyler/Caroline

**Rating:** PG-13

**Disclaimer:** Vampire Diaries belongs to someone else. The Proposal belongs to another someone else. I remain bitter. *sigh*

**Word Count:** 3784

**Summary:** Bonnie prides herself on being rational. Jeremy makes her anything but rational.

**Timeline/Spoilers:** Both seasons up to 2x11: By The Light of the Moon to be safe; set afterwards

**Author's Notes:** For this Secret Santa prompt at lj comm=ben_jerrys: **1. Bonnie comes over the Gilberts for a sleepover, but continuously finds herself getting distracted by one Jeremy Gilbert. Things finally come to a head when she runs into him in the middle of the night while in the kitchen. bonus points for sexual tension and a stolen makeout in said kitchen.**

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* * *

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**Falling**

Bonnie Bennett prided herself on being-usually-a calm and rational sort of person. Most of the time she could keep her head in any given situation, no matter how weird or insane it was. She was, simply put, not the type of girl to 'freak out'.

Unfortunately, she was currently standing on the Gilbert's front porch holding a container of walnut brownies and, you guessed it, freaking out.

"Do you _always_ answer the door _naked_?" She shrieked at Jeremy, the current bane of her existence. Okay, that was a slight exaggeration. So he wasn't the _bane_ of her existence, but he was fast becoming a huge problem for her and her traitorous libido. Elena's little brother was not so little anymore and was developing into quite a swoon-worthy guy. Ever since the almost kiss in the Gilbert kitchen, Bonnie had been sort of distancing herself from Jeremy _and_ Elena. She was at a loss of what to do. She couldn't date Jeremy-that was just too weird-and she couldn't tell Elena that she wanted in her brother's pants. The poor girl was under enough stress already being Katherine's doppelganger and all, so the best thing to do was to stay away as much as humanly possible without alerting her best friend to her newfound insanity. Seeing as how they currently had an Original paranoid schizo vampire coming to kill them all at the top of the Scooby Gang's priority list, it was a lot easier to fool Elena than she had first thought.

Yet she still missed her friend terribly, so when Elena cornered her at school that Friday afternoon and suggested an old fashioned sleepover, who was Bonnie to resist? It was a splendid idea and she looked forward to catching up with Elena and Caroline, doing mani-pedis and watching movies all night. Except now that she was at their house and face to face with Jeremy, who was obviously fresh from the shower and looking damn hot, she was starting to rethink the wisdom of this little plan.

"Naked?" Jeremy finished toweling off his hair and eyed Bonnie intently. "Check your eyes, Bonnie. I'm wearing pants."

"But no shirt!" Bonnie snapped irrationally, wondering if dropping the brownies and racing for her car would be considered cowardly. It was parked at the curb and boys were always distracted by food. She could make it.

"Well, I would have put one on, but someone kept rudely banging on the door."

She gasped. "I was not banging on the door." Obviously Jeremy was going to keep acting pissy towards her because she didn't return his feelings. She ignored the voice inside her head that called her a bold faced liar and glared at him.

"Sure sounded like it." He drawled, eyeing the tub of brownies with interest. "Those for me?"

She huffed and stalked past him. "You wish." She heard him take a deep breath as she brushed by his bare chest and she felt her own breath stutter a bit in response. Dear God _why_ did Elena suggest this again? Speaking of Elena...

"Hey, where's your sister? This was her idea after all."

Jeremy flopped down on the couch and flicked the television on. "She went to pick up the pizzas. Something about Klaus possibly posing as a pizza delivery guy and Aunt Jenna letting him in that was worrying her. She should be back in a bit." He flashed her a grin to show he was joking and lazily flipped through the channels.

Bonnie set her stuff down and hovered nervously near the end of the couch, unsure. "Speaking of Jenna, where is she? I should go say hi."

"She and Alaric went to a bed and breakfast for the weekend."

Wait. Did that mean that she and Jeremy were alone in the house? Together? Like with no adult supervision whatsoever that would prevent her from jumping in his arms and running her hands all over his glorious abs...Bonnie quickly shook her head clear of that line of thinking. It would lead to nowhere good. As if on cue, as if he knew _exactly_ what she was thinking, Jeremy glanced over at her where she was still standing by the couch. "You can sit down you know. I don't bite."

"I'm good."

He eyed her strangely. "You'd rather stand awkwardly by our couch rather than sit down next to me? Seriously?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Jeremy made a disgusted sound and stood up abruptly, tossing the remote down on the sofa cushions. "You know what? Get over yourself. I got the message loud and clear, Bonnie. You're not interested. Fine, I get it. You don't have to be a bitch about it." He flashed her an agonized look and stormed out of the room and, a few seconds later, she heard his footsteps heading upstairs. Sinking down onto the couch, she closed her eyes and sighed.

"Great. Just great."

* * *

"Oh my God, he's gonna kiss her!" Caroline squealed and hid her face behind one of Elena's pillows. The onscreen image of Ryan Reynolds gently cupping Sandra Bullock's face as they kissed in front of their co-workers played on as a high pitched giggling emitted from the blonde vampiress. Bonnie couldn't help but laugh at her friend's antics. She had been so terrified that the Caroline that they knew and loved was gone forever since she turned, but her fears were slowly being eradicated each day. Caroline might have joined the ranks of the undead, but she was still _her_ and that was what was most important. Surprisingly, Bonnie felt tears well up in her eyes at the thought and she hurriedly brushed them away before the others saw her and questioned it.

No such luck. Elena practically pounced on her. "Hey, hey. What's wrong, Bon?" She leaned forward on the bed to lay a hand on Bonnie's. "Are you crying?"

"Just really feeling the movie, that's all." Bonnie lied quickly. "It was a really good choice, Caroline."

Caroline beamed from her spot on the floor. "You can't go wrong with Ryan Reynolds." She stood up and stretched as the movie's credits started rolling. "So, what now, girls?"

"Ah, I don't care. I'm up for anything." Elena mumbled as she curled up on her pillows and wiggled freshly painted toes. "A board game, maybe?"

"Ooh, let's play Monopoly!" Caroline said as two different ring tones started chiming almost simultaneously. Caroline picked up her cell and a faint blush blossomed over her cheeks. "Uh...I've gotta take this call. Give me a minute." She was out the door with such speed that some papers on Elena's dresser table scattered. Bonnie started picking them up as Elena answered her phone and rolled her eyes slightly at her friend's breathless 'Hi, Stefan!'. She was obviously going to be on the phone for more than a few minutes.

"I guess I'll get the game then, seeing as I'm the only one who doesn't have a life." Bonnie muttered sarcastically.

"It's in Jeremy's room." Elena said, holding her hand over the phone. "If he's not in there, just go in and get it. Should be on his bookshelf."

Bonnie sighed. Of course it was. It was obvious the fates hated her. She squared her shoulders and strode through the connecting bathroom. Seeing the door to Jeremy's room open, she breathed a sigh of relief. All she had to do was quickly go in, get the game and then get back to the safety of Elena's room. What could go wrong? She stepped into his room and her eyes immediately fell upon his bed. The bed that she and he had sat on when they were worried about Elena. The very same bed that she also subsequently passed out on _and_ fell asleep in after said passing out. A look of horror crossed her face as a sudden thought hit her. Oh God. She hoped she hadn't drooled.

She tore her eyes away from the dark blue mussed up sheets, trying to push out the thoughts of Jeremy sleeping in that bed...doing other things, maybe, in that bed...Bonnie started slapping the side of her temple-hard. It was becoming increasingly obvious that she was a dirty pervert with absolutely no control. Spotting the game on the shelf where Elena said it would be, she grabbed it and turned to go and...

Stopped.

Bonnie couldn't believe her eyes. There on his desk lay his sketchbook, open to the middle, with his current sketch half finished. The pencil lay forgotten to the side almost as if he had been interrupted and had to leave in a hurry. Bonnie gaped at the drawing with wonder and felt as if her legs would no longer hold her up.

It was a sketch of her. But, at the same time it _wasn't_ her. At least not the way she ever viewed herself. It wasn't as if Bonnie didn't think of herself as attractive. She thought she looked decent enough and took pride and care with her appearance. However it didn't make her have all that much confidence with boys in the end. What did her love life consist of so far? A failed date with a vampire bartender who ended up kidnapping her, a brief flirtation with that guy at the school carnival before Caroline lost control and killed him, and a strange, awkward connection with Luka, the new warlock in town. Well...and Jeremy. But she wasn't going to go there.

She wouldn't allow herself to go there.

But this picture of her...made her look _vibrant_. Sexy even. Her eyes seemed to dance with mischief, her hair curling and flowing around her as if during a windy day. A slight smile touched her lips in the drawing; made her look like she knew a secret no one else did. She was wearing the same outfit she had gone to play pool with him in. The pretty v-necked blouse, the slim fit jeans that hugged her curves, the low heeled boots. Everything the same as that day. She felt a newfound stab of guilt for getting caught up in her conversation with Luka that night. Who knew what could have happened if she'd ended the night with Jeremy instead. She continued to stare at the drawing, her breath catching in her throat. This is how Jeremy saw her. _This_ is how she looked like through his eyes.

He made her look beautiful.

"Do you like it?"

Bonnie let out a little scream and whirled around at the sudden voice. Jeremy was standing in the doorway with some chips and coke and watching her seriously. He looked like he was going to say something else but instead came inside and closed the door. He flopped down on his bed, opened the bag of chips and offered her some. She shook her head and slowly moved over to stand at the foot of his bed.

"It's really good, Jeremy. I-I love it."

Her words seemed to light up his face and he grinned at her, almost shyly. "Yeah...it's not finished yet."

She nodded slightly and searched for something-anything-to say that wouldn't make her sound like an idiot. She didn't understand Jeremy's newfound ability to make her feel so out of control. She didn't do out of control, dammit. He was making her spiral and it wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

This was what terrified her most of all. Giving up that control. Giving it to someone else. That would only hurt her in the end, she was sure of it. Still, she hesitated. Tried to gain courage. "I didn't mean to be in your room without your permission. I just came to get the game because Stefan called and you know Elena." She rolled her eyes affectionately. She honestly didn't fault her friend for being so in love.

Jeremy smirked. "Ah. Well, yeah, you better go get her off the phone otherwise you guys are never gonna get around to playing tonight."

She turned to leave again. Stopped _again_. "Can I have it? The picture I mean. When you're done?"

"Sure. I was drawing it for you, Bonnie."

She turned back to look at him. "For me? Why?"

"For you to remember." He stared at her, eyes boring into hers and she felt her breath catch again and she wondered if Jeremy freaking Gilbert was hazardous to her health. "For you to stop pretending."

His words seemed to hang heavy in the air between them. Not his words right then, but his words from a couple of weeks ago. The night that Katherine almost killed him because he'd tried to get the moonstone on his own. So that Bonnie wouldn't have to do the spell.

The night that he'd tried to kiss her and she'd rejected him.

**_"Don't. Don't pretend that this is one sided. Like I'm just some kid who has a crush on his sister's friend."_**

The words echoed in her mind and she knew by the look on his face that he remembered them too. Bonnie couldn't help it. She did exactly what she had done that night two weeks ago.

She fled.

* * *

Bonnie lay in her sleeping bag on the floor of Elena's room wide awake at 3 in the morning and wondering what she ever did to deserve this hell. Caroline hadn't stayed the night and had left after their game of Monopoly muttering something about Tyler and a phone call. Bonnie wondered what was going on between them as Caroline had blushed the entire time she was stammering out excuses before she had dashed out of the house in the blink of an eye. Elena was peacefully slumbering in her bed, no doubt happy from all the junk food, girl gossip and Stefan chatting that she had endured for the night. Bonnie was just happy that one of them could sleep. A thunderstorm was currently passing through and rain pattered steadily against the window panes. Usually rain caused Bonnie to be out like a light, but tonight she was obviously destined to be lying on her best friend's floor pining for her younger brother. God, what a life.

After another twenty minutes staring at the ceiling, Bonnie cursed under her breath and dragged herself to the door. Might as well try making some hot chocolate to go to sleep. Bonnie headed quietly down the stairs and padded towards the kitchen. She had been friends with Elena so long that they were completely at home in each other's houses. Which was why she hadn't thought anything of making herself something warm to drink in the middle of the night wearing only sleep shorts and a tank top. If she had been thinking clearly, she would have remembered that there was a teenage guy sleeping just upstairs and that covering up might be prudent to all involved. However she was frustrated from lack of sleep and worrying about her feelings for Jeremy, that she rounded the corner into the kitchen and froze when she saw the object of her obsession standing by the fridge.

"Ah!" She squealed in surprise. "Do you have some kind of aversion to wearing shirts?"

Jeremy put down the orange juice container that he was currently guzzling and stared at her incredulously. "First off, this is _my_ house. Secondly, how you can talk about anyone's attire is another story. You always walk around in other people's homes barely dressed?"

Bonnie sputtered indignantly. "I am dressed!"

Jeremy leaned against the kitchen counter, orange juice still in hand and let his eyes roam over her slowly. "If you say so. Love the Hello Kitty hot pants by the way."

She felt a strange thrill having him check her out so blatantly and she figured let him look. She's already been caught, why go and change now? "I couldn't sleep. Figured I'd make some hot chocolate if that's okay."

Jeremy made a 'by all means' gesture and continued gulping down juice. Bonnie sighed and got the cocoa mix from the cupboard. "You know, a glass might be useful."

He grinned wickedly at her. "I know. I like a more hands on approach."

She didn't know how to respond to that and she wondered if he was still talking about the juice or something else entirely. She felt confused; vulnerable. When did talking to Jeremy become so complicated? She liked order. Things in neat piles and categories. She liked knowing where she stood with people and Jeremy used to be the adorable, if annoying, brother of her friend. When did things change like this?

When did she start to _want_?

"Would you like some?" She inquired politely as she boiled the water in the kettle and got out a mug and the milk. She felt Jeremy's eyes following her and she suddenly remembered she wasn't wearing a bra either. Oh God, please don't let him think I'm a slut. Or maybe...maybe he'd find her sexy? A little bit? The rain pounded against the windows and she suddenly felt as if she and Jeremy were the only two people in the world, shut together in their own little bubble.

"Yeah, I'd love some." Jeremy tossed the empty oj carton in the trash and started rummaging in the cupboards for something. Eventually his hands emerged triumphant with a bag of mini marshmallows and some vanilla wafers and he grinned at her. "Can't have hot cocoa without these."

She smiled at him, exasperated, and finished making the cocoa. Soon, they were seated at the table sipping their drinks and listening to the rain. Jeremy kept trying to steal her wafers off of her plate and she kept slapping at his hands. The slapping turned into him trying to tickle her and she ended up cackling and running around the kitchen island with him on her heels.

"Jeremy, stop it! I mean it." She dodged his hands and squealed at the wiggling motions his fingers were making towards her. She couldn't help it. She had always been extremely ticklish and just the threat of it had her screaming with laughter.

"Oh, I like it when you get forceful, Bonnie. It's hot."

"Perv." She edged slowly around the counter away from him.

"Oh you know you like it."

"You wish." She shot back cheekily and watched his eyes darken with some unnamed emotion.

"Yeah," He said softly. "I wish a lot of things."

Too serious. Too _real_. Bonnie had to do something to lighten the mood again. Fun, she could handle. Harmless flirting was okay. This right here was too much. She decided to turn the tables and tickle him instead. Be all proactive like Elena and shit. She hopped up suddenly on top of the kitchen island and flung herself on top of Jeremy forcing him to either let her hit the floor or catch her.

She hit the floor.

"Ow!" She moaned in agony as she landed on her ass. What the hell had she been thinking throwing herself at Jeremy to tickle him of all things? Who _does_ that kind of stuff? Crazy people, that's who. She was obviously deranged.

"Bonnie! Are you okay? I am so sorry, I just froze!" Jeremy babbled as he crouched down on the floor next to her.

"It hurts." She wailed.

"What? What is it? Is it your back?" He sounded frantic. "Oh God, baby, I'm so sorry."

Bonnie managed to push herself up to a sitting position with his help and stared at him in shock. "No, just my pride. What did you say?"

Jeremy wrapped a strong arm around her and lifted her up and sat her on the nearest chair. "I asked if you were okay. I am really sorry, Bonnie. I didn't expect you to just leap like that otherwise I would have caught you, I swear."

She stared at him looking so miserable and concerned for her well being that she reacted without thinking. She leaned forward and kissed him gently on the mouth. He obviously didn't even realize what he'd said, but she did, and that's all that mattered. A wave of emotion welled up inside her as she pulled back and touched his cheek gently. He seemed shell shocked, but happy, and his gaze raked over her in something akin to wonder.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?" He said softly, leaning forward and touching his forehead to hers.

She swallowed hard. It was now or never. "For pretending."

His hands were warm on her bare thighs causing her to shiver. "Pretending?"

He was obviously going to make her say it. She sighed. "For pretending it was one sided."

Jeremy nodded, deep in thought. "You're scared." He brushed her hair back behind one ear. "You don't have to be scared with me, Bonnie. I want...I want to give this a shot."

She leaned forward and kissed him again, this time harder; deeper. She couldn't help herself now that she'd already tasted him before, however brief. All Bonnie knew was that she had to have more. Jeremy, thankfully, seemed just as on board and kissed her back eagerly, hungrily. The rain poured down outside and they remained oblivious to it, slanting their mouths together again and again, tongues touching; breaths panting hotly against each other. Bonnie could not seem to get close enough. She felt herself moving suddenly and then settling again, and realized Jeremy had switched places and she was now settled snugly on his lap. She wrapped her legs around him and reveled in the feel of his hands stroking her back, her thin shirt riding up easily for him; his fingers tracing the curve of her spine and sending tiny thrills all over her body.

He sucked on her tongue and she whimpered, letting him dominate the kiss for the time being. For so long she had felt in a free fall since her Gram's death, the loss of her mentor a crushing blow. It was hard for her to let herself trust that deeply again when her whole world was now upended in one fell swoop. For the first time in forever, she felt safe again. Her world felt _whole_ again and she kissed Jeremy with all the feeling she had inside of her. All that feeling that she had bottled up and tried to hide, she tried to give to him now in the hopes that he would understand just how much he meant to her.

And if his arms tightened around her just a fraction more and his lips kissed her a little harder because of it, well, she couldn't say she minded.

She couldn't say she minded at all.

**_~fin_**


End file.
